[plug] [OT] Linux Kernel Delayed By Microsoft's Army of Evil Monkeys

Peter J. Nicol peternicol at vrl.com.au
Sat May 4 19:51:57 WST 2002


http://www.bbspot.com/News/2000/5/MS_Linux_delay.html


Technology News

Thursday May 4  12:28 PM EDT

Linux Kernel Delayed By Microsoft's Army of Evil Monkeys
Around the World - Linus Torvalds announced yesterday that the Linux Kernel
2.4 will be delayed. He blamed the delay on interference from Microsoft's
Army of Evil Monkeys.  The army has been disrupting the lives of key Linux
programmers, and in some cases destroying portions of code.  Torvalds
himself has been a victim of several Evil Monkey attacks.

Steve Ballmer denied any involvement by Microsoft in the matter.  "We did
receive the Army of Evil Monkeys when we purchased evil from Satan, but
those monkeys are only temporary employees and not actual employees of
Microsoft.  Whatever they do on their own time is their business."

If the accusations prove to be true, then this could have a major effect on
the Justice Department's anti-trust case against Microsoft.  Joel Klein
said, "If this story is accurate, then this is just one more example of how
Microsoft is using its monopoly power to stifle competition."

"It has been horrible,"  said Linux programmer Rob Timmons, "the evil
monkeys were everywhere.  Trashing my computer, [defecating] in my bed.  I
lost several days worth of work."

Internal Microsoft e-mails obtained by BBspot tell of a secret monkey
training ground where monkeys are trained to seek out and harass Linux
programmers.  The only comments from Bill Gates have been, "Fly my pretty,
fly!"




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