[plug] Please proofread this now if you can (PLUG, SLPWA, LCA)

[The Thought Assassin]

On Thu, 12 Sep 2002, Leon Brooks wrote:
> Tell me if I've lied or made any gross mis-statements. I'm not so worried
> about details.

I'm afraid there's one detail I just have to mention: Just after
"growiing", you warn of the fangers of a "lone wofl" consultant. Remember:
Always get a second opinion on your toasted bread products.

Onto more substantial quibbles:

"As computers start to deeply impact our daily lives, a new approach, or
perhaps at heart a very old one, has begun to rapidly gain ground. It
works on the premise that it is better to expand the whole market than to
squabble over what remains."

I don't think you can realistically argue that the impetus for Free
Software came from vendors. It came from users who wanted vendors to
compete against each other by creating better products rather than by
locking each other out of the market. It came to a head when we realised
that we could make better software ourselves in many cases. Once the users
started outcompeting the vendors because they didn't have to worry about
harming competitors because their goal was maximising quality, not
profits) vendors were forced to adopt (some more cynically than others)
customer-pleasing strategies in order to compete.

I don't know what you want to write, nor can I write it for you and keep
with the tone well enough, but I really do think the present text misleads
the reader into the idea that the change came from the supply side.

"Such was the reputation of ordinary freeware." - I think you should be
clearer that this is closed-source freeware you are thinking about.
Maybe just "closed-source freeware", or perhaps "closed-source shareware".

Other than that, it looks great. I hope these suggestions are useful.

-Greg