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Tue Nov 29 10:43:08 WST 2011


"POSIX-standard" should not be hyphenated; should be separated by a 
space. 

The word "system", in the first sentence, should be immediately followed 
by a comma. So also should "1992", and "Torvalds", be immediately 
followed by commas.

The use of the term "a rewrite", in the first sentence of that 
paragraph, is grammatically incorrect. Examples of more approriate 
terms, are "a revision" "a recreation", "a rewriting", etc. The word 
"rewrite" is a verb; "a" should precede a noun.

In the last sentence of that paragraph, commas should be inserted after 
the words "and", "around", "for", "to", and the last occurrence of "it". 
Anyone who disagrees, should refer the sentence to a good English 
teacher or academic, who actually knows their grammar. Also, inserting 
the commas, then reading the sentence, will show why they are 
appropriate.

Also, in that sentence, the term "the university" is used, but the 
paragraph does not include naming the university, to which reference is 
made. The university needs to be explicitly named in that paragraph.

> The first time Linus was officially asked by somebody what his aim was for 
> Linux, he jokingly replied "World domination". Now, a decade later, the ghost 
> of the joke is laughing at us from the shadows.
> 

It should be "The first time that Linus was asked..."

> Linux is used for a significant number of internet and intranet servers, and 
> in many places has solved problems without management or accounting even 
> being aware that it exists. Services mysteriously become reliable, not <##### 
> this should be "no" ####> requisitions cross any desks, tech support's job 
> gets easier, and everyone is happy.

The word "internet" is a proper noun; it should be Internet".

A comma should immediately follow each of the words "places"  and 
"problems" in the first sentence of that paragraph.

Also, depending on the audience for which the piece is written, it is 
not a good idea to abbreviate "technical support", to tech support", as 
the abbreviation introduces jargon, which is not good for 
communication.

> 
> Also SLPWA's url is www.slpwa.asn.au - I think we are moving away from 
> slpwa.linux.org.au

Ah, the word "think" should be "believe", and it should be immediately 
followed by the word "that". And, "url" should be "URL".

> 
> Cheers
> 
> Patrick
> 
> 

That's enough proof reading for that message.
:)

-- 
Bret Busby
Armadale
West Australia
..............

"So once you do know what the question actually is,
 you'll know what the answer means."
- Deep Thought,
  Chapter 28 of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
- Douglas Adams, 1988
....................................................



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