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<b>Subject:</b> MS In a landmark decision, the Australian Commercial Practices
Court yesterday ruled that Toyota is no longer allowed to run its advertising
campaign based on the word "bugger".
<p>Explained Court spokesman Loof Lirpa, ``Some time ago Microsoft took
out an injunction against the use of the word `bugger' in Toyota's ad.
It was argued that `bugger' had been associated with Windows far longer
and far more deeply than with Toyota's utes.''
<p>Lirpa went on to suggest that every Windows user in the world uses the
word at least once a day as a direct result of using Windows. ``No other
product has ever achieved that degree of market recognition and for Toyota
to muscle in on it was clearly a breach of commercial etiquette and, ipso
facto, copyright.'' Microsoft is now planning a media-wide campaign using
their catch-word.
<p>A copy that has been leaked to us shows several familiar faces:
<ul>
<li>
Stephen King is shown saving the last page of his new 800 page blockbuster
in Word and then re-opening it to find that it has been reduced to three
smiley faces and half a dozen Japanese characters. He smiles wanly to the
camera and says ``......''</li>
<li>
Kerry Packer is shown shaking his head knowingly and muttering ``......''
when he discovers that the spreadsheet on which he based his latest $4
billion takeover has suffered from the notorious Excel `four times seven
equals thirty six' feature and that the Ayer's Rock Pie Company is somewhat
overvalued.</li>
<li>
The head of the CIA [face pixillated] is shown shouting ``oh, ......''
on finding that Outlook has just emailed the entire contents of his hard
drive to the head of the KGB. She, in turn, says, ``byugyah'' when
the file is found to be in last year's Access format.</li>
</ul>
A spokesthing for Microsoft commented, ``This is a logical move for the
company that used the songs `You make a grown man cry' and `The damned
and accursed are committed to the flames of Hell' as advertising slogans
for its software. We anticipate establishing the slogan in the marketplace
by including a t-shirt with `Microsoft. Bugger.' in every box of our software.''
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