[plug] [Fwd: IF OPERATING SYSTEMS RAN THE AIRLINES]

[Damion Hill]

I received this today and thought it was quite amusing. If it's old
news, I apologise.

Cheers,
Damion.



           IF OPERATING SYSTEMS RAN THE AIRLINES
                 - Submitted by J. Hovind
          _______________________________________
 
 UNIX Airways
 
 Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come
 to the airport.  They all go out on the runway and put the
 plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what
 kind of plane they are supposed to be building.
 
 Air DOS
 
 Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump
 on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again.
 Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ...
 
 Mac Airlines
 
 All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents
 look and act exactly the same.  Every time you ask questions
 about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't
 need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done
 for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.
 
 Windows Air
 
 The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards,
 easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off.  After
 about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning
 whatsoever.
 
 Windows NT Air
 
 Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes,
 and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius
 when it explodes.
 
 Linux Air
 
 Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to
 start their own airline.  They build the planes, ticket counters,
 and pave the runways themselves.  They charge a small fee to
 cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download
 and print the ticket yourself.  When you board the plane, you
 are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the
 seat-HOWTO.html.  Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is
 very comfortable, the plan leaves and arrives on time without
 a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful.  You try to
 tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but
 all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"