[plug] Fwd: [CS-FSLUG] Microsoft Anonymous: The 12 Steps

[Leon Brooks]

----------  Forwarded Message  ----------

Subject: [CS-FSLUG] Microsoft Anonymous: The 12 Steps
Date: Tue, 12 Mar 2002 23:27:28 -0500
From: "Fred A. Miller" <fmiller at lightlink.com>
To: undisclosed-recipients:;

Microsoft Anonymous: The 12 Steps
By Debra R. and Claire W. 03.12.02
Exclusive to Roadhouse Sierra

-------------------------------------------------

A terrible addiction grips the world. It invades the
most respectable middle-class homes and offices. It
causes untold havoc. Yet, in this era when enlightened
people understand that even coffee drinking ("caffeine
use disorder") can be a serious disability, this
addiction goes unrecognized and untreated.

We speak of Microsoft addiction -- a dependency that
costs its victims billions, first to buy the products
to feed their habits, then in damage done by
opportunistic viruses that prey on MS-weakened
systems.

What is Microsoft addiction? It is hopeless dependence
on a computer operating system that is more insecure
than a junkie in a room full of narcs and more
expensive than a hit of heroin. In the end, this
addiction strips its users of all privacy and
independence. This operating system is controlled by a
ruthless multinational software cartel. Once you're
caught in their .net like a drowning dolphin,
Microsoft pushers know they can hook you on even more
expensive software. Soon, you're mainlining the hard
stuff  stuff like the infamous M$ Office XP -- a
program that not only costs more than XTC or cocaine,
but reports your activities to your pusher, and
demands that you get permission to "reactivate" the
software simply because you dare to make changes in
your system.

The M$ message: We own your computer. We own you. And
your little dog, too.

Until now, the future has looked bleak for the
ordinary victim hooked on Microsoft. But today,
thousands are breaking free -- and so can you! --
thanks to the 12-step program of Microsoft Anonymous.

Follow these steps and, though you may never be fully
cured of Microsoft addiction, you will walk the road
of recovery.

The 12 Steps to Microsoft Recovery

1. We admitted we were powerless over Microsoft --
that our privacy had become negligible.

Microsoft's licensing agreements let the software
cartel bust into your computer at any time. Microsoft
lets its friends in, too. Privacy groups have found
hidden keys within Windows -- including one which may
be for the exclusive use of the National Security
Agency (NSA).

What Bill Gates doesn't do to you, some script kiddie
will. There are more holes in Microsoft software than
in a heroin addict's clammy gray flesh. Worms and
viruses ooze through them like HIV through a dirty
needle.

2. We came to believe that a different operating
system could restore us to sanity.

Linux (especially the easy-to-install Mandrake 8.1 or
Red Hat 7.2) can lift even the most hopeless
Microsoft-head into a world of privacy and stability
-- and do it right on the same PC that now shares your
Microsoft habit with you.

Free your mind and body. Free your finances, too.
Linux costs way less than your next hit of Windows.
Some versions don't cost a thing.

3. We made a decision to turn our computer systems
over to Tux as we understood him.

At first, we considered learning Urdu in order to read
some of the manuals, but then decided to trust our
instincts and that friendly Linux penguin.

Graphical "desktops" like KDE and Gnome, which come
with Linux, comforted us with familiar
point-and-click, drag-and-drop, pop-up menus, and
other things to help us on our road to recovery. They
even gave us "Redmond-style" graphical themes, helping
us break our Windows habit like Antabuse helps a
wavering alcoholic.

4. We made a searching and fearless inventory of our
applications and data files.

We understood that recovering from our Microsoft
addiction might mean reformatting some of our data,
surrendering familiar programs, and finding Linux
equivalents. Fortunately, many distributions (brands)
of Linux come with full office suites, Web browsers,
e-mail programs, and everything we needed to get us
going -- all at no extra cost. Even the most vital
applications of all -- games.

Many Linux applications, like StarOffice, can convert
and share data freely with their M$ equivalents. (Bill
Gates, watch us break your hold even while those with
whom we share data remain hooked!)

5. We admitted to tech support, to ourselves, and to
another Linux newbie the exact nature of our
misgivings.

Before buying, we visited Linux Newbie.org and
LinuxChix.org. We asked questions on their listservs
about the Linux distributions other newcomers have
tried and the pitfalls they'd encountered. Others in
Microsoft recovery gave generously of their time and
advice.

We asked experienced Linux gurus, too. But they mostly
said things like "grep" and "tar -xvjf." We feared
that "bunzip2" might be something dangerously kinky.
We turned away when they asked about our boot sector
partitions. (Some people just don't know when they're
undermining the recovery process).

6. We were entirely ready to have Linux remove all
those cookies, GUIDs, and trojan horses from our
systems.

We prepared carefully for our first installation, had
a good backup of our existing Windows system, and made
sure that all our hardware was Linux compatible. We
accepted that it wasn't always going to be easy, but
that in the end it was going to free us from
Microserfdom.

7. We humbly installed the operating system.

It turned out to be easier than we thought. Many Linux
distributors now beckon weary Windows users with easy
installation wizards and automatic hardware
recognition -- the very temptations that first drove
many of us into the clutches of Microsoft.

But some of us still chickened out and bought a
computer with Linux already installed.

8. We made a list of all the software we used and
became willing to use alternatives.

Some of us decided we needed a dual-boot system, with
both Linux and Windows on it, because critical
software was available only under Windows. But we
resisted remaining Windows dependent.

We used Linux for a task any time we possibly could.
The more we used Linux, the easier it became. The more
we used Windows  well, when you find yourself
insisting, "I can turn off Windows any time I want.
Really I can"  you should be worried. Be very, very
worried.

9. We downloaded alternative software where possible,
but never a Microsoft product.

Linux isn't just for techies any more. But now that
IBM, Hewlett-Packard, the NSA, and yes, even
Microsoft, are getting on the Linux wagon, beware. We
continue to avoid products from companies with a
history of snooping into our computers and our e-mail.


When we became truly advanced in our paranoia, we even
downloaded Tinfoil Hat Linux.

10. We continued to take personal inventory and when
we were leaving security holes, promptly repaired
them.

Linux, being open source, can be examined by any
software engineer to make sure it has no hidden
security holes -- unlike Microsoft, whose owners hide
its code like Columbian drug traffickers hide their
profits in Cayman Island banks.

Linux is harder for crackers to target. And if you're
worried about another sort of cracker -- the
government or corporate kind -- think about this.
Those "key loggers" or keystroke monitoring programs?
Virtually every one of them works only with Windows --
and against Windows users.

Still, we diligently research before installing
upgrades, and we regularly read electronic privacy
e-mail alerts.

11. We sought through user groups, books, whitepapers,
and HOWTOS to improve our conscious knowledge of
Linux, searching only for understanding and the power
to improve data security, system stability, and
personal freedom.

We told ourselves, "Even if the manual is written in
an obscure French-Ecuadorian dialect of Swahili, it's
worth the effort."

Increasingly, Web sites, books, and manuals for new
users led us along our way. Listservs dedicated to our
chosen distributions offered answers to our questions.
We persevered, helped by those who'd gone before.

12. Having had a computational awakening as the result
of these steps, we tried to carry this message to
Window users and to practice these principles in all
our affairs.

And that's what we're doing right now.

Sometimes, you have to hit bottom before you're ready
for recovery. Remember us the next time your screen
turns that funny blue color, and pressing CTRL-ALT-DEL
for an hour only gives you blisters on your fingers.
Remember us next time your data ends up in an FBI
dossier. Remember us next time some 13-year-old called
H at ckWit infects your Microsoft Outlook with a virus
that converts your hard drive into strawberry Jell-o.

You will be among friends at Microsoft Anonymous.

-----

) 2002 by Debra Ricketts and Claire Wolfe (with a
little help from Authentic Linux Guru, Charles
Curley). Feel free to copy and circulate, as long as
full credit and copyright information are attached and
no changes are made to the text.

--
"The only secure Microsoft software is what's still
shrink-wrapped in their warehouse..." (Forno)





_______________________________________________
ChristianSource FSLUG mailing list
Christiansource at uninetsolutions.com
http://cs.uninetsolutions.com

-------------------------------------------------------