[plug] need a letter of resignation?

[Jon Miller]

Thought some of you might appreciate this one.

This is fabulous.... don't know if you have seen it, but I am sending it 
anyway....


  Subject: Letter of Resignation

  'Actual' letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers,USA, 
to his boss. His boss apparently resigned very soon afterwards!

  Dear Mr Baker,

  As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very 
basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an 
intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your 
consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and myself during the 
commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of  the few 
true genetic wastes of our time.

  Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of 
everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a 
waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I 
know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to 
provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly 
attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth 
time.

  You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as 
binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why 
people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I 
am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is.

  Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.You walk 
around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You 
have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your 
interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off 
on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring 
ineptitude. In a  world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green 
algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad 
proof of the Dilbert principle.

  Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full 
frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I 
have a few parting thoughts.

  1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to 
give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer 
not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple 
of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on 
your own.

  2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know 
every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get 
cute, I am going to publish your "favourites list", which I conveniently 
saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that 
terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favourably by the 
administration.

  3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers 
b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of 
yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the 
techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd 
acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied 
and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of 
recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct 
your mistakes.)

  Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my 
desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your 
little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public.

  Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what 
you do with all that free time!

  Sincerely
  Darryl Brewer.

Jon L. Miller, MCNE, CNS
Director/Sr Systems Consultant
MMT Networks Pty Ltd
http://www.mmtnetworks.com.au

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure
 is trying to please everybody." -Bill Cosby