[plug] need a letter of resignation?

[Chris Caston]

What's really amusing is when you send one to the HR department of a
very large company (2000+ employees) you don't even work for saying that
you have been offered a better position at another company.

Sometimes they contact you back and offer to match the other offer.
(;

regards,

Chris


On Mon, 2003-08-25 at 15:54, Jon Miller wrote:
> Thought some of you might appreciate this one.
> 
> This is fabulous.... don't know if you have seen it, but I am sending it 
> anyway....
> 
> 
>   Subject: Letter of Resignation
> 
>   'Actual' letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers,USA, 
> to his boss. His boss apparently resigned very soon afterwards!
> 
>   Dear Mr Baker,
> 
>   As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very 
> basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an 
> intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your 
> consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and myself during the 
> commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of  the few 
> true genetic wastes of our time.
> 
>   Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of 
> everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a 
> waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I 
> know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to 
> provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly 
> attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth 
> time.
> 
>   You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as 
> binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why 
> people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I 
> am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is.
> 
>   Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.You walk 
> around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You 
> have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your 
> interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off 
> on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring 
> ineptitude. In a  world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green 
> algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad 
> proof of the Dilbert principle.
> 
>   Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full 
> frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I 
> have a few parting thoughts.
> 
>   1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to 
> give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer 
> not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple 
> of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on 
> your own.
> 
>   2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know 
> every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get 
> cute, I am going to publish your "favourites list", which I conveniently 
> saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that 
> terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favourably by the 
> administration.
> 
>   3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers 
> b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of 
> yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the 
> techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd 
> acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied 
> and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of 
> recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct 
> your mistakes.)
> 
>   Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my 
> desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your 
> little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public.
> 
>   Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what 
> you do with all that free time!
> 
>   Sincerely
>   Darryl Brewer.
> 
> Jon L. Miller, MCNE, CNS
> Director/Sr Systems Consultant
> MMT Networks Pty Ltd
> http://www.mmtnetworks.com.au
> 
> "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure
>  is trying to please everybody." -Bill Cosby
> 
> 
> 
-- 
Chris Caston

Director
Aptitude Technology
http://www.aptitudetech.com.au
ABN: 51614966828

ph: (08) 9443 9418
mobile: 0422 978315

chris at debian:~$ host security.microsoft.com
security.microsoft.com does not exist (Authoritative answer)