[plug] [OT] Dead pets

[Leon Brooks]

On Monday 16 May 2005 23:41, Richard Meyer wrote:
> Depending on how religious you are, God was lonely and wanted
> companionship, so he took the budgie back - though that does sound
> sorta capricious ....

Um, that's a damn silly idea no matter which way you hold it up.

You have three choices:

  1) disappear the bird and wait for the child to forget it existed
     (which, I might add, would most definitely not work with our kids)

  2) replace the bird

  3) admit that the bird is dead

     switch (religion) {
     case atheist:
         GAME OVER PLAYER<1>
         chuck bird in bin
     case christian:
         switch (theology) {
         case evangelical:
             bird is in heaven, where all good birds go when they die
         case catholic:
             bird is in purgatory, fate to be determined by your actions
         case premillennialist:
             bird is dead, spirit has returned to god, bird will reanimate
             at second coming
         default:
             other options are beyond the scope of this analysis
         }
         hold funereal ceremony
     case gaian:
         bird's spirit has returned to resume being part of world-spirit
         hold party
     case buddhist:
         bird is in hell, but it might be a very *nice* hell
         grin and bear it
     case hari:
     case reincarnationists-in-general:
         bird will come through again, probably as something more
           interesting like a crow or macaw
         hold funereal dance
     case animist:
         hope that bird's spirit doesn't come back to get you
         take bird to shaman
     default:
         scope overflow again
     }

Cheers; Leon

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